Permanently experiencing temporary issues
We're down.
Again.
If you find us working, you're lucky.
Take a screenshot. Nobody will believe you.
We're redefining uptime by not having any. Our team is actively scheduling a meeting about it.
A simulated status check. Even our outages are a demo.
OFFLINE
Down as a Service.™
Enterprise-grade excuses.
Free-tier availability.
01 / The platform
On a little career break
02 / The meetings
Unfortunately operational
03 / The promises
Scaling beautifully
04 / The fix
In the next sprint. Always.
99.9% uptime.* *Of the PowerPoint presentation.
The feedback loop / mostly a loop
At least the reviews work.
No names. No emails. Just feelings.
Finally, something we can actually deliver.
The wall of very low expectations0 public